I have been suffering on and off from Clinical Depression since I was about 22 years old. I have been on meds and felt better, went to counseling, made small changes in my life and gotten better. Sometimes I relapse though and I need to be put back on meds, the last time I too a depression med was over 4 years ago, I have been doing pretty good since, but right before my pregnancy, I was starting to go down that path again, but at the same time I was able to pull myself out with natural remedies.
My doctor had warned me that it my rear it’s ugly head again later in my pregnancy, and for the past couple months I would be fine , then not fine then fine then really not fine. I am talking full blown lying on the floor crying fits. But still I thought I could beat it, but that was before this week, now i believe I have finally hit my low point as I call it, the point were it gets scary and I cannot put off getting help, after being in tears nearly all day yesterday, hysterical tears, not eating much and wanting to sleep but being unable to, I called of work dragged my self out of bed and called my doctor, she saw me, and prescribed me Zoloft. I am currently waiting to pick it up.
I don’t tell many people I work with about it, because for some reason i feel like I will be attacked for giving in to meds for depression, but honestly I have dealt with this long enough that i know if I DON’T do something, then it gets even worse than you can imagine, Hudson is extremely restless, he is kicking up a storm and I know this has to be effecting him. last night I cried so hard and so much I threw up, and that’s just about all I could handle.
I hate feeling like this, having no motivation what so ever, not wanting to get dressed having waves of anxiousness, having to drag myself to do anything and everything. But i know I will get through it and in a few weeks I will be bright again. Well I’m off to go pick up stuff. later. Always loved Placebo…..