Ok so here goes, I had a doctors appointment yesterday to see if I was dilated, BTW no body ever todl mehow bad it actually can hurt when they check you for that…. (thanks alot) it felt like she rammed her entire arm up there, I about leapt off of the table,. sadly I was not dialted, wich I didn’t really expect too be anyways.
She asked how I was doing, and I joked and said “well today is my anniversary, soif you want to give me a c section as a gift that would be pretty sweet” (half joking with her….I said HALF JOKING) and hse goes, “oh weren’t we going to do once on you?” I looked at her with a blank look and said “no you said you would only do it if medically nessecary” well” she said “ideally I would like you to have a vaginal birth, but since your Phyiscal Therapist alos seems to think you need a c section , if you feel that you could not make it through labor and push him out, then I will do a c section.” I started bawling right there on the table, “yes! please doctor OMG! you have no idea how bad this pain is thank you!” with that , she said either july 16 or 17th, she is going to let me know next week when she sticks her arm up my crotch again and probably comes out my throat.
I will deliver at 39 weeks, so if I go into labor before the surgery, they will still do the c-section, it will just look better for justification purposes for insurance, i told her I will deal with insurance later, right now I am just concentrated on getting back umong the living and walking.
Am I scared? in a word yes, but I know people who have been through it, and i figure if I can deal for months with this ever increasingly paralizing pain, I can deal with surgury.
My mother will be staying with me for a few days afterwards to help out. And we are going to move his changing table and bassinet downstairs so that i can sleep on the couch for a few days.
Bill does not want to be in the OR when the baby is delivered, if he see’s that abyb covered in blood, he is going to pass out cold, and i don’t want that, so I may have my mom right there with me.
The down side, is that I will not be able to see the baby for about 2 hours while I recover, 😦 accept initially of course when he first comes out) but I will have a lifetime to play with him.) Well I am going to go make out the bills (boo) and go take a nap with the puppy 🙂 ) Talk to you s
Attached are some more photos of the nursery.
Sometimes when I need solace from the pain, I just go into his room and sniff his clothes…..