Hudsons “grandma in the sky”


We lost my mother when Hudson was 1. It was devastating for us all,and I do try to bring her up now and then and show my son photos of the two of them together so that he knows how much his grandma loved him. Occasionally I take him to visit her grave, we explain to him the best we can the reasons of why she isn’t here physically, but yet still here spiritually, how she is everywhere, in the sunshine, the trees, how she is in every happy and good and nice thing in this world and how she has a house in the sky where she lives. We are not real good at explaining it, but he seems to take it in stride.

There has always been this strange connection between him and her,the night she passed away, Hudson woke up screaming at the exact moment my dad called to tell me that she started going down hill and that we needed to hurry to the hospital. The following christmas,he took a photo frame ornament off our christmas tree ( a round ornament with wings and a photo of my mom inside) and announced that he wanted it on HIS little tree instead, right at the top, like a star.

And lately he has been asking about her, out fo the blue, like say in the middle of throwing the ball around in the yard, all of a sudden he asks “hey mom? did grandma Judy die because she was trying to get somewhere and didn’t make it? Do you miss her? is that why you cry sometimes? Why do you have her jewelry, did she give that to you before she left?” usually these random inquiries bring tears to my eyes, but I answer the best that I can. He claims that he can see her star in the sky at night, and when we go to the cemetery, he talks to her,and I swear every time he does, the most gentlest breeze begins to blow, the photo above gives me a chill, we were out running around on a weekend and I made an unplanned stop at the cemetery to see her,he knelt down and brushed off the grass clipping on the angel on her stone, he did it with so much love and so much care, I thought my heart would burst. When I took this photo he had just finished brushing the angel off and wa telling me that she was now “all nice and clean”

Recently his preschool teacher pulled me  aside and asked if my mom had passed and if it was recent, i said yes she has passed away but it was in 2010. She said he came up to her on Monday and said “hey Miss Nietzsche, my grandma Judy Passed away” and she said “oh Hudson I’m so sorry” and he looks down and says “yeah, it was pretty sad” lol She said it was just out of nowhere.

Sometimes we wonder if he sees her and if he told me he did I would totally believe him. It’s amazing how such a strong bond can form between to humans beings who only has so little time with each other. God bless you mom, I know your there….and that gives me the greatest comfort.

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 Hudson and my mother about 2 months before she passed, I don’t think I will ever be MORE grateful that I took these photos.


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