I was in the car with my husband yesterday, it was just him and I, we were on our way to dinner.
Since it was a rare occasion that we were alone, I decided to talk to him about something that was really bothering me.
A few days prior, I caught my self feeling a way I never thought I would………jealous…..seething jealousy.
As most of you know, Yoga is a passion of mine, and I made a promise to myself to work harder at it this year. There are certain poses that I really want to be able to do.
For years I have been working on these poses, but my body doesn’t move fast, and I have to accommodate for my occasional Fibromayalgia flare ups that force me to take longer breaks than I would like.
Being no stranger to my own body and its occasional issues, I have always been ok with the slow progression, it’s part of what Yoga taught me, never to compare yourself with others, it is about moving at your own pace.
I hopped onto Facebook one day last week,and my blood began to boil.
An innocent photo of a friend doing a pose that I have been working on for YEARS and still have not been able to perfect.
“how dare her!’ I thought ” that’s MY pose”.
Instead of feeling happy that she accomplished that pose so well, I was seething with anger.
( really? “that s MY pose?”) I can’t believe I even thought that, I don’t OWN any poses. It was jealousy , pure unadulterated jealousy….and I was pretty ashamed of myself.
When I told my husband about all of this, he immediately said ” Heather i understand how you feel completely, but you have to remember, you cannot compare yourself to her, she does not work outside of the home, she can make her own schedule and she probably practices yoga alot more regularly than you are able to, so she is probably better than you are at a few of those things, but I guarantee you are better than her at some other things.”
And he’s right ( I wont always admit that one lol)
The trouble with comparison, is that is blinds us to all of the other factors that may be giving that person an edge over you.
We are all on our designated path in life, each of us is exactly where we need to be, even if we don’t think so. I firmly believe that.
Jealousy is a basic human emotion, but what if we could use that emotion to push us and help us become better. Instead of letting it destroy us.
I am the first to admit, that is a hard concept to swallow when your knee-deep in self-doubt.
Look, anything worth it, is worth fighting for. So if you really want something, sometimes you have to put on your blinders, keep focusing on your goal, and pay no attention to others who may be advancing quicker. Chances are….someone is looking at you wishing that THEY themselves could do something as good as you are, do what you do , do it well, and give them something shoot for.
So remember, when finishing becomes hard…remember why you started this journey, was it for someone else? Nope, it was for you…and you have th eright to moves at whatever pace you need to.